


Gusto (pa) Kita Isayaw

by renminiscence



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Light Angst, M/M, fk this up, inspired to many things, mabagal, many things
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-02
Updated: 2019-09-02
Packaged: 2020-10-05 12:44:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,406
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20489090
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/renminiscence/pseuds/renminiscence
Summary: This is a story about two boys, both in love, slow dancing. What else matters?





	Gusto (pa) Kita Isayaw

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this in two hours this morning at 4am. so yeah this is the crap that came out im sorry D: the title is in tagalog, yes, and i thought i would never dare. but here we are :)) it means i want to dance with you still.. 
> 
> to really feel the feels play "mabagal" of daniel padilla and moira when the band starts to play in this story. enjoy! <33

Slowly was the way the morning sun’s rays painted Jaemin golden that morning, making him as dreamy and as dashing he could ever be, in his cream-coloured suit and tie. He was dazzling, a wide smile on his flawless face, eyes crinkled into twinkling crescents. He looked just as how Renjun had imagined him on that special day—radiant and, simply, happy.

Renjun remembered how, just two weeks after meeting each other, and a whole week of _tentatively_, and daringly, going out together and date, he had asked Jaemin to marry him. Renjun recalled the glowing moon and the shimmering stars, the light breeze blowing by and ruffling their locks; he remembered the dim street lights, the distant passerbys, the zooming cars; he remembered himself being quite tipsy, being a bit drunk of beer, but very drunk of love.

When he popped the question, slurring on his own words, Jaemin merely laughed it off. Renjun, frowning upon his boyfriend’s reaction, sobered up a little and questioned why was he laughing, and if he was rejecting his proposal of marriage. Jaemin, seeing how Renjun was trying to appear rather serious and irritated all of the sudden, though his lower lip jutted out was already a dead giveaway, let a tender smile blossom his lips, his doting gaze softening.

“I think we should take it slow. You know, like slow dancing?“

“I like slow dancing.” Renjun goofily grinned.

Chuckling, Jaemin lifted a hand to pinch Renjun’s flushed cheek, “That’s weird, coming from a someone who wants to speed things up and get married already.”

Renjun rested his head on Jaemin’s shoulder, making his boyfriend laugh, while wrapping an arm around him, “When you.. Slow dance with someone you love, everything else disappears.. It’s just you, and the one you love. And you feel so happy, so sure of the certainty you have in that moment.. That’s why I’m happy and this is what I’m certain of, Jaem.. I wanna slow dance with you forever..”

And those were what accompanied Jaemin and Renjun the following days, months and years they spent together—happiness and certainties.

However, rainy days were to come, tagging along doubts and worries about bright and clear tomorrows.

As the beat of the music of their lives changed into a faster one, they tried to keep up. To keep up mostly with the quick changes which occurred in Renjun’s life—a new job, a new car, a new apartment;a new hairstyle, new clothes, a new glint in his eyes; a new boss to impress, a new project to work on, a new excuse to stay late for—both Jaemin and Renjun tried to keep up with all these changes, but soon Renjun saw how Jaemin, little by little, realised he could not slow dance forever to a song that changed its beat the exact moment they found a rhythm to fall into, nor he could dance without his partner.

They parted ways, but Renjun was always sure of loving Jaemin still, of being happy just with him, of desiring to slow dance with only him forever to a timeless song.

He wished he could have told him all those things before.

Before Jaemin had walked out of his door, closing it behind him softly, though Renjun could swear he had always heard the sound of it loudly echoing in his haunted dreams.

Before Jaemin had hung up, calling to check on him, ask him if he was doing okay, weeks after their breakup.

Before Jaemin’s bride had waltzed inside the sun-kissed room, with her candid white coloured gown lightly bouncing at every step of hers.

Slowly was the way it dawned Renjun—it was too late.

* * *

Slowly, the wedding reception was nearing its end. The bright moon watched by as waiters and waitresses started to tidy up, as few of the guests hit the dance floor one last time, as the beautiful bride roamed around thanking and greeting various people. 

Renjun sat back, swirling the glass with the last drop of wine. His hopeful eyes gazed around, in search of a familiar face, but that face was nowhere to be found.

Tipping his head back, he downed his drink. With a finger loosening his tie, he stood up on his feet, and grabbed his suit jacket hung on the back of his seat. When he was about to walk off, a deep, soothing voice stopped him on his tracks, “Going without greeting me?”

Renjun’s heart skipped a beat. Although he perfectly knew that there was a rather high percentage of him having to interact with Jaemin at his wedding, he was not truly prepared to face him.

As his brain started churning, his stomach fluttering, Renjun slowly turned around. Jaemin had always looked splendid, but Renjun could not find the right words to emphasise how mesmerizing and beautiful Jaemin looked in that moment, as the faint light of the faerie lights that adorned the venue coloured him of an orange of a hazy sunset, coloured him of unsaid words and unfaltering feelings.

“No, I was just.. Wandering around.”

Jaemin laughed heartily. Renjun merely offered a smile, trying to keep his heart from jumping out of his chest, for it had heard Jaemin’s laugh again, and it just brought back many memories.

Silence suddenly fell. When their eyes meet, Renjun hurriedly, and quite stupidly, averted his gaze. After clearing his throat, Jaemin spoke up, “I’m really happy you came..”

“I.. I wouldn’t miss your big day for anything.” Renjun genuinely replied. He felt he was in verge of tears, but no tears gladly pooled his trembling eyes.

The hired band started playing a slow-tempo’d, bittersweet tune, filling in the empty spaces and lingering silences.

Sticking a hand out, to which Renjun knitted his brows at, Jaemin asked, “I know this might sound strange, but.. Perhaps wanna dance with me?”

With so many doubts, and so many certainties, Renjun reached for the hand and grabbed it.

He let Jaemin lead him on the dance floor, he let him place his own hands over his shoulders, he let him place his hands on his waist. He let him pull him close, he let himself rest his head on Jaemin’s chest; he let the music drown them in, he let what surrounded them vanish into nothing; he let everything else slip out, in order to let Jaemin in one last time.

They fatuously swayed to the rhythm of the song, rocking their bodies from a side to the other, and Renjun did not really care if they were off beat. Nothing really mattered to him—it was just him and Jaemin.

“Wish we did this more often back then.” Jaemin chuckled, to which Renjun snorted.

“Not to mention how I suck at dancing.”

“It’s slow dancing, you don’t have to be skilled or anything.” Jaemin replied, giving Renjun funny look. Renjun playfully nudged him with his head.

“By the way, thank you for coming..” Jaemin whispered, nuzzling the side of his face into Renjun’s hair.

Renjun hummed. He wanted to say a lot of things to Jaemin. He wanted to tell him sorry for all the things he did and he did not do. He wanted to thank Jaemin for all the things he did, and for all the things he did not do. He wanted to tell him he still loved him profoundly, cherished him dearly. He felt the emotions of regret, of resentment, of disappointment slowly seep out of him to embody every sway and movement of his, “Are you happy, Jaemin?”

Visibly taken aback, Jaemin lifted his head and his eyes flickered down on Renjun. Oddly expectant, Renjun held that unwavering gaze. A hand left Renjun’s waist, leaving behind its warmth, for it to grab Renjun’s hand from Jaemin’s shoulder. Jaemin held it up, pulling Renjun even closer to him.

“I am,” Jaemin answered after awhile, a smile dancing on his lips, “Are you, Renjun?”

Tearing his eyes from Jaemin’s, to glance at his arm wounded around his shoulders, his hand holding onto him, he took in the fact that he was slow dancing with Jaemin, so why would he not be happy?

If Jaemin was happy, why would he be not, too?

“I am. I like slow dancing, and we’re slow dancing now.”

Looking up at Jaemin, radiant and blissful, Renjun was finally certain of something.

Slowly, he would learn how to let Jaemin go.

**Author's Note:**

> so after watching dj and moira's mabagal, i thought wow this could be a fic idea, but then i watched the mv of "fk this up" and had this terrible idea to combine both concepts. slow dancing and a wedding lol idk what im saying rn but i hope yall luvlies liked this bc i kinda? loved writing it heh


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